A Few Thoughts

I’m pretty foggy and not really bursting with profound thoughts, so just some random things. I’m not maudlin, though I might seem that way (it’s the circumstances). Try to ignore it if I do.

I’ve always feared dying alone. Something that so astounds me that I haven’t fully realized it is that when Christ calls, I will be surrounded by family and friends who love me. There is nothing quite so beautiful as the glint of tears in the eyes of a visiting parishioner whom you barely know.

The one relationship in my life I had most painfully wanted to repair has, against all odds, begun to heal. Nothing could have made me happier than dying in the knowledge that my son had forgiven me, or was at least on the way toward forgiving me.

Tomorrow, Fr John and Fr Basil are coming, and Wyatt is driving up from Filthadelphia. The Kleinsteivers (sister-in-law, her parents, and my niece) will also be here. There is a flow of visitors over the next week or so, and they will keep coming. When it is time, the Light of Christ will shine in the countenances of these loving people whom I am so honored to know.


4 Responses to A Few Thoughts

  1. That is a blessing that you have reconciled with your son. I too went through the same thing with my son when I had a heart attack. I was also blessed to be reconciled with my own father just before he died.

  2. Lisa Bou says:

    Clay, I’ve wondered about your son on and off since I knew how sick you are. I haven’t wanted to raise the issue, and I’ so gratified to read this that it makes me cry.

    Phyllis told me about the impending family visits this week. So glad they are making it. Send my greetings.

    About passing on, yes, being alone when the time comes is always what I’ve feared most, so I understand what you’re feeling about having these dear ones there. And it gives me immense relief to know that they are, since I’m not sure when I can come be with you in person. I remain with you in spirit, every day. I hope you know you are never far from my thoughts and prayers.



  3. sevpr says:

    You are blessed indeed. Through my father in law’s illness and our having to care for him my wife and he reconciled and he died surrounded by his family and friends he made during his years living with us. “…and he was gathered to his people” is how the Old Testament describes the death of the saints. A beautiful thought.

  4. Prof, you won’t be alone. Even if there wasn’t another human being within miles of you, you wouldn’t be alone. God, His angels and countless others who have went before you will be waiting to welcome you back home.

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